Journaling is a great way to share thoughts and express feelings that otherwise we would keep to ourselves... I always encourage students to journal their midwifery experience. You can go back and read your initial writings and see the growth in thought, practice and perspective. I also encourage women to journal their pregnancy experiences. Every woman experiences pregnancy in a uniquely personal way. Ambivalence, joy, anxiety, self-doubt are all part of the journey. The journey of being a student can be compared to pregnancy and birth...
1st trimester: We start out nauseated...What was I thinking????? Some of us vomit profusely...some of us barely notice it. We are excited nontheless. We start to envision the possibilities
2nd trimester: The nausea has lessened...appetite is increasing...I want to eat everything I can find...starting to gain a few pounds. We read everything we can get our hands on. It is all NEW knowledge... I can do this!!!!
3rd timester: Beginning to feel bloated and REALLY tired. You have got be kidding! I cannot possibly put one more thing on my to-do list and that assignment is due when?????? I think I might be hypertensive and more than a bit irritable. Getting closer, but it feels like it will never end...Can I be induced???? NOW??????
Labor starts: Is this real or not??? I am not sure...I think I will go take a bath...
OK..this is different..I think I will take another bath.....maybe not..I am not ready...I still have more to do....
Transition: Holy cow!!!!! Do not touch me, do not talk to me, just let me do this....I can't do this!!!!!!! I want to quit now!!!!!!!
It is time to PUSH....WOW this hurts...but feels like I should anyway...I CAN DO THIS!!!!
Relief....I DID IT!!!! Isn't she beautiful!!!!
As one journey ends another begins......
Share your journey.....Deb
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This is just how my preceptor put it prior to the end of last semester. It is nice to be back and to reflect on all the past semesters and hard work we have done to get this far.
ReplyDeleteWhat an analogy! I thoroughly enjoyed the breakdown you've created, and can definitely relate. I do see myself at the point where "It is time to PUSH... WOW this hurts... but feels like I should anyway... I can do this!!!" although the last part has it's doubts and is followed by... I hope...!. :-)
ReplyDeleteKim
I also see myself at that point. Due to some very unfortunate circumstances, the practice that I have been working with closed over Christmas. My preceptor moved to Arizona, and the other midwives in the practice went their own separate ways. This quarter I will be working with a midwife that I only met a month ago, in a new hospital, and a new town. I'm a little scared and a little excited about the things to come this quarter.
ReplyDeleteAmanda
Amanda, I know it seems scary now - but think about how far you have come. Midwives ALWAYS seem to be swimming upstream. Just keep swimming... Deb
ReplyDeleteAmanda; I think this is a great chance for you to learn a different style and personality of another midwife as well as a different hospital and staff. I wish I had that chance. I love my midwives I work with, but the hospital staff is another story. They seem so anti-midwifery and take every opportunity to be buligerant and negative. It is so sad. Anyway...good luck.
ReplyDeleteKaren
Thanks, I will have the opportunity to do more primary care at this practice which I have not been able to do up to this point. The midwife that I have been working with did strictly OB.
ReplyDeleteI am having a little trouble with one of my preceptors as I do things a little different than she does. Its not wrong, just different. It has been so fustrating already!
ReplyDeleteI have had three different preceptors. I have learned that there is many paths to one goal. None are wrong. I just look at it as an opportunity to learn a new way of approaching things. It is not that I will continue to practice that spacific way once I graduate, but how can I know what way works best for me and my patients unless I have experienced other ways of doing things? Just food for though!
ReplyDeleteHello all.
ReplyDeleteI have been trying to look at job prospects here in Boise Idaho. Anyone else start looking yet? I was wondering how it is for others out there? I am contimplating doing Locum Tenens. Idaho is just not that CNM friendly yet. I just wondered if anyone had experienced or is thinking about doing travel assignments as a CNM or WHNP?
Thanks
Karen
It took me forever to figure out this blog thing. First time blogging.:) Glad to be with all of you finally.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like midwives are destined to be in the "thick" of things. 2008 was the hardest year of my life for many reasons. I am so glad to be at this "pushing" phase as someone mentioned earlier. I already have my job lined up and am so thankful to get to work for people who love and respect midwives. This last few weeks will fly by! Finishing school is such a major accomplishment for all of us - I hope that each of you are as proud of yourselves as I am proud of myself for meeting this goal and fulfilling a dream.
ReplyDeleteShawne. Welcome back. Good to have you. Sylna, I think your right. I like the pushing part. Last semester was transition and I felt like I was out of control and loosing it! Now I have a light at the end of the tunal.
ReplyDeleteKaren
Hi Karen,
ReplyDeleteHow are things going?Yes Sylna, this is a dream that has been a long time coming. Yet, I still feel almost as if it is that unreachable star. I refuse to celebrate until I pass the certification exams. It will be a relief to not be in school anymore though.
Wow already got a job, that's awesome.
I have been looking on the ACNM website. I downloaded the certification handbook. I have also been looking at the job website. I know for me I plan to take some time to find a job. This is going to be my last career change so I want this to be a good fit. In other words, it has got to feel right.
ReplyDeleteWell, tonight I had the chance to completely manage, document and care for an entire birth. This paient I have see since her initial visit in the clinic and it worked out great. I trusted the process, she trusted the process and her body and she delivered in 4 hours. Beautiful delivery, great outcome. It was nice to feel like I have been now transitioning from student to midwife and feel comfortable in managing that care and delivery.
ReplyDeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteThat sounds amazing! I am thrilled for you to reach that point. Your graduation is not far away and experiences like this help you to be well prepared for your next journey.
Congratulations Karen!
ReplyDeleteIt is a great feeling to completely care for someone and know that you "guarded" their birth process. In a busy practice I think that midwives sometimes lose touch with the difference that they make with each individual woman that they care for. During my 26 years of homebirth/birth center practice, when I felt overwhelmed or like I was spinning my wheels, I would just take a few minutes and reflect on each woman and her family that I had recently cared for. It always validates my call as a midwife and many times helps to get me out of a rut.
Karen,
ReplyDeleteWhat and awesome feeling of accomplishment that must be. I can't wait to feel the same thing!! It seems like this quarter everything is happening in bits and pieces. I guess I haven't been alone!
This has been an amazing journey. I must say that I am a little scared to be on my own but confident that I will be okay. I'm scared because I really haven't had a complicated delivery except for a mild shoulder dystocia that required suprapubic pressure and a PPH. I don't want complications but I would rather it happen before I'm done with clinicals and I have the midwife there. You run the steps through your head so many times but I think having the experience is most beneficial to my confidence, that way I can say that I'm familiar with that situation. I have yet to cut an episiotomy but I'm doing okay with laceration repairs.
ReplyDeleteMy only vaginal delivery was my first child, the following two were c-sections (placenta previa and elected Repeat c/s rather than VBAC).
ReplyDeleteFirst child/first trimester: Very nauseated, but didn't have a problem consuming everything in sight.
Second trimester: Gained too much weight due to appetite. Began walking, felt much better, but had to comply with an ADA diet (not fun).
Third trimester: Couldn't breathe, waddling, and wanted relief soon.
With my first child, I was induced due to preeclampsia at 38 weeks. Pitocin was started at 1030 am, I labored all day, was given the opportunity to resume induction in the am, but my membranes ruptured, so I labored through the night. I finally begged the OB nurse at 4 AM the following morning for an epidural, but she told me I needed to be 5 cm (this was in 1993). After another 1-2 hrs, I made the 5 cms and got some relief. However, I ended up with two more redos on the epidurals (kept having pain). Finally, after a total of 27 hrs of labor, I had a forceps delivery, with an episiotomy and 4th degree laceration-pretty awful. Spent two days in hospital postpartum, with intense perineal/rectal pain. Immediately after birth, though, had a wonderful breastfeeding experience and relieved to know that everything worked like it was supposed to. All of my births were really wonderful experiences and you forget most of the awful details once you see that special/sweet little face.
Allison
Finally figured this out. I am glad!
ReplyDeleteColette